1. Ariana Grande, “Break Free”
This is like poorly translated teen goth poetry.
2. Redfoo on Play-N-Skillz’s “Literally, I Can’t (STFU)”
Pretty much every line of this song is flagrantly sexist, but this verse from the dude from LMFAO is especially awful.
3. Eminem, “Shady Cxvpher”
You are the reason we can’t have nice things, Eminem.
4. Nickelback, “She Keeps Me Up”
Chad Kroeger’s erotic poetry here is even better when you consider that it’s probably about Avril Lavigne.
5. Jason Derulo, “Trumpets”
Naw, it’s not weird at allllllll, Jason. [eyes dart nervously around the room]
6. Jay Z on Beyoncé’s “Drunk In Love”
This year’s winner of the “most cringe-inducing line in an otherwise wonderful song” award…
7. Kanye West on Beyoncé’s “Drunk In Love (Remix)”
…even if Kanye did his best to top it on the remix.
8. Ab-Soul, “Nevermind That”
Well, thank God.
9. Plies on John Legend’s “All of Me (Remix)”
That’s kinda gross, Plies.
10. Florida Georgia Line, “Sun Daze”
This is kinda like when Steve Carell says that breasts feel like a “bag of sand” in The 40 Year Old Virgin.
11. Sam Smith, “Money On My Mind”
Wow, no way! Me too.
12. Jerrodd Niemann, “Donkey”
Some really sexy stuff from Jerrodd Niemann here.
13. Jason Derulo, “Wiggle”
Did you really think there would only be one Derulo song here?
14. Kasabian, “Eez-Eh”
15. Pitbull, “Fireball”
Or you could just keep this sort of thing to yourself, Pitbull.
16. Santana featuring Miguel, “Indy”
We all need goals.
17. Robin Thicke, “Lock the Door”
And she didn’t take him back!
18. 50 Cent, “Animal Instinct”
If you ever have to fight 50 Cent, make sure you’ve got some rats handy.
19. MAGIC!, “Rude”
Pretty much every line of this song makes you realize this girl’s dad was totally right to forbid their engagement, even if he’s just as guilty of treating her like nothing more than property.